Updated: Nov 28
If you think the chaos will calm down and it doesn't...
Denial is your Enemy and you will be on defense...again. Take Charge!
A certainty of our present time is the rate of change and the volume of change will continue or even accelerate. Therefore, you must change or you will become obsolete. It is a choice of 'transition path' that you can control, to some degree. Certainly not everything you do is subject to your power. Neither are random events. But some things can be influenced that you are not currently aware of, or some you are aware of and just choose to deny your responsibility for them, which may be worse for your mental health.
This is a call to action, not just for you, but for me and all my friends as well. Why now?
Our rhythms of life are coming up for review on the calendar everywhere. The year is almost over. What you did in 2023 is slipping into the dustbin of history.
The erosion of your resilience (which you feel as 'the old ennui') and your ability to meet challenges always cries for maintenance, just like changing the fluids in your car. Antifreeze for winter driving anyone9? If we don't do it the consequences seem obvious. Unless you live in Hawaii, but you get the idea. You still have to change your oil and wiper fluid.
What Actions Do I Need to Consider? Begin Your Planning with Self Talk!
You can have a quick look at last week and some ideas to begin working on daily habits that support you better. It's easy to do and easy to start but it's hard to follow through consistently without your own self talk supporting you.
Your Self Talk is your portable repair kit - it helps you when you drive off the road and no one is around to help. So, today I'm going to encourage you to start 2024 planning by you 'working on" you.
Haven't changed your own oil in awhile? Never? That's OK. You can do it, and you can raise your own motivation as you self discover how important it is.
There is a manual to follow that I believe is very, very good. As neuroscience has exploded and changed it is fortunate for us all that someone wrote a 'manual on it'. Here is the link:
What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter, PhD
For our work today, I'll start in the middle of it, Chapter 9, The Five levels of Self Talk.
The Level of Negative Acceptance - "I can't..."
The Level of Recognition - "I should..."
The Level of Decision to Change - "I never".... "I no longer..."
The Level of the Better You - "I am..."
The Level of Universal Affirmation - "It is..."
For now, skip 1-2. You can start at 3-4 by catching your negative "stuff" and the talk about it and throwing it in the dustbin of history, filed under irrelevant info no longer needed. In other words, just do it.
This is not metaphysical, new age affirmation, although you may find that to be a positive thing to consider from time to time. It IS repetitive, specific statement of self direction that forms new neural pathways.
Specifically, the best research I can find on self direction is here: Watson and Tharp, Self Directed Behavior. I know it is good because I have used it myself in class.
Between these two books, you have a way to do all of this internal rearranging before 2024 begins. It will, from my experience, (the only real knowledge I have) go a lot faster if you do your learning in a group. Whether in a group, or by yourself, a coach can help you get there even faster. A crash course to prevent a crash, if you will permit a little dramatics.
More about this next time. In the meantime, you just start by listening to yourself. What did you say to yourself? What did you hear? Start the feedback process with yourself, listen, and, if you dare, write it down. Good Hunting!
Happy Days Ahead
Joe Grant, MBA
Certified Retirement Coach
Contact me for a Free 45 minute Consultation at https://yourvantagepoints.com